This blog was originally written on July 1^st – Canada Day … I’m just getting around to posting it now!

The Lord Giveth and the Lord Taketh Away

A few years back our family needed a second vehicle.  We couldn’t afford much, but we were praying for something reliable.  One day my husband, Jim, found a little blue Jetta on Kijiji for an excellent price.  It was five years old, but had over 300,000 km (nearly 200,000 miles) on it.  Still it was in excellent condition and we felt blessed to have found such a great little vehicle for our family – one that got 50 miles to the gallon, and had amazing pep!  It was a standard, and our kids loved being able to learn to drive stick!

(Our little blue Jetta on day of our Rebekah’s graduation last month
with her escort and dear friend of the family, Brian …
hmmm, come to think of it, that car really deserved a wash!  Oops!)

Well, yesterday (June 30^th) I watched our little blue Jetta get towed away after I had smashed it in an accident that could have easily taken my life (and others).  As Job put it, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away, blessed be the name of the Lord!”  More importantly, though, the Lord had preserved me and the people in the other two vehicles involved from serious injury and death.

A Close Call

So, as it happened, I was going to a funeral of a priest who had been my parish priest growing up – and one whom I had always loved – and I was praying a rosary for him and for our family as I made the twenty-some minute drive to get to his funeral.  I had had a little tiff with our thirteen-year-old, Jacinta, before I left; it was over finances – nothing major – but she was reluctant at that moment to reconcile.  I had to leave, and off-handedly (I’m not even sure why it came out of my mouth) I said, “I hope I see you again in this life!”  And feeling awkward about having said that, I walked back to her, hugged her, and told her, “I love you … I’m sorry we fought … I’ll see you later!”  So as I left for this funeral I prayed for Jacinta and all our kids, “God, please don’t let the financial struggles of our decision to do ministry turn our kids hearts away from you!”

I was happily late for this funeral … in other words, I knew I couldn’t make it on time, but I still had to go into town to the bank, so I wanted to take in at least the end of the funeral if I could.  I wasn’t rushing.  I was very relaxed as I prayed for Fr. Paul and for our family’s needs as I traveled.  I had just changed lanes and was settling into the pace of traffic, which was slowing down, and I glanced down at my hand to see if I was on an Our Father bead – which I was – and I looked back up just in time to see the back end of the SaskTel van right in front of me.  I hit the brake.  I hit the van.  Then the air bag hit me in the face.  I then found myself heading toward the side of the road where I could see a sign post which I think I tried to avoid (but I can’t really remember how I was steering the vehicle at that point), but my foot was on the brake, and I remember my knee was smashed up against the underside of the dash and I somehow managed to miss the post … and then, my little blue Jetta came to a stop!  There was all this smoke in the air and an airbag in my face, but as I quickly assessed my body I realized: “I’m okay; I’m not hurt; I’m alive; God has preserved me, and His angels are here!”  I got out slowly and was praying that in the other vehicles no one was hurt.  I wasn’t sure at that point how many vehicles had been involved, but I noticed a third car in front of the van.  I had hit the van and the van had hit a car, but everyone was fine – praise God.  In fact, to my surprise, they were all quite fine. I was the only one really stunned and injured – with some scrapes and bruises, a stiff knee and jarring in the chest and back – but I was fine – I had walked away from the accident … I wasn’t being carried away!

I thought immediately of Jacinta, “Oh God, I’m coming home to Jacinta today!  I’ll see her again in this life!”

“Thank you, God, for my accident.  Thank you for our little blue Jetta that served us so well for the past three years – which You had given and have now taken away.  Thank you for a family to come home to and for allowing me to be a mommy to this family for a while longer!  My work here isn’t done – and I’m grateful for that!  Thank you, God!”

A Prayer Answered

Twenty-four hours later, I’ve had time to process the day and the accident now.  I was on my way to a funeral – which almost led to my own.  That’s sobering enough!  I was going to be going to the bank, after the funeral, to deposit money I had collected up from what the kids owed us for various things, so that we would have enough money in the account to cover our end of the month and beginning of next month payments that automatically come out.  Now here we are, on top of not having enough money to cover our bills, we have the fine for my accident, the insurance deductable to cover, and we will not likely get what that Jetta’s value was to our family (an older vehicle that was in great condition and got us 50 miles to the gallon!) … and we will have to look for another car for our family with little money to speak of!  Praise God!  His wisdom is beyond us, and His ways are far higher!  If I were God – and I’m not for good reason – I would have perhaps offered other solutions to our family’s present financial predicament!

But remembering back, as I started that little car trip, I had prayed that our financial struggles from ministry would not turn our children’s hearts away from God!  When I got home later that day and finally saw Jacinta again, we sat down and talked, and hugged and cried together … and she said to me, “Mommy, I think God maybe was trying to teach me something by that accident!”  Well, I think He was trying to teach us all some things: money and finances and stuff are just things that pass away, but our relationship with God and with people is what counts!  Let’s treat each other as though this day were our last together – no regrets! Let’s not worry about how God will provide for our needs, let’s focus on how thankful we are to God that He does provide for our needs and that He has given us each other!  Let’s not waste our time here, because here – in this life – is the only time when we will have “time”!

Some Lessons You Never Forget!

I shared with my Jacinta a story from my childhood, when I had been about her age – thirteen.  I had had a fight with my father once – and my father and I did not fight often – but I was so frustrated with him that I reached out and slapped him in the face and stormed out of the house.  I cried all the way to school, I was so ashamed of myself!  And all day long I prayed, “Please God, don’t let my daddy die before I get a chance to see him again!”  When I finally saw my dad, I went to him and hugged him and cried and told him how sorry I was.  I don’t even remember what we had fought about – but I do remember the pain of having lashed out and not having reconciled with him.  I remember the pain of thinking that I never want the last memory I have with someone to be of anger!  I have carried the lesson of that day with me for my entire life!  Years later my daddy did die unexpectedly, and I was grateful that I was at peace with him, as I ended up never having had the chance to say goodbye!

A Thief in the Night

Coming back to my experience of this car accident, there is nothing like a close scrape with death to make us focus more profoundly on those three final things: 1) death, 2) judgment, 3) heaven and hell.

It will come to all of us at some time – often when we least expect it.  We are reminded by Holy Mother Church to reflect on these three things daily.  How easy it is for us to forget about them.  How easy it is for us to just get caught up in the busyness of our lives, going on as if there’s never going to be an end.  Well, an end will come to us all!

As the accident was happening, many things flashed through my mind.  I thought to myself, “This is just how fast people die … I might be dying now.”  I held onto my rosary in my hand, I could still feel the Our Father bead in my fingers.  I remember thinking, “Your angels are with me God!”  I was not afraid.  I had a great deal of peace as it all seemed to be happening so slow and so fast all at the same time.  I was just waiting to see what the outcome would be!

God held my life in His hand for a moment, and then He gave it back to me!  He always is holding our lives in His hands – thank goodness for that!  But at that particular moment, He was reminding me of just that!  And He was letting me know that when He comes to call it will be His timing, not mine; after all, He will come as a “thief in the night”!  My life has been given back to me.  It is as though He has pressed the “Reset” button in my soul! So now, what will I do with the gift of the “rest of my life” that He has so graciously granted me?

Pure Witness Ministries Begins

Later that day, my husband, Jim, and I had a meeting booked with our bishop.  We had just found out the day before that we were granted charitable status by Charities Canada (we will now be able to offer tax receipts to Canadians for donations to Pure Witness Ministries.)  We were meeting with Bishop Don Bolen to discuss the direction of our ministry, locally, within His diocese, and the international scope of the work we do – namely, that we will be able to begin a program for giving away our books for free, as tools of evangelization.  The bishop had cancelled all other appointments that day – on account of Fr. Paul’s funeral – except ours.  He graciously met with us, along with the youth coordinator of our diocese.  It was a fruitful meeting … one that sent both me and my husband home with a new fervor for our work.

And so the next phase begins!  Now that we have a ministry, a charitable tax number, and our bishop’s blessing, we begin the work of support-raising for Pure Witness Ministries – perhaps the biggest obstacle off all along this journey!  Our supporters will give us the mandate for our work.  If we receive a great support base, we can begin much work.  If it is a small base, we will have to start small.

As my husband and I had a cup of tea together this morning, we eagerly talked about the vision of what could be done with Pure Witness Ministries.  How we could serve youth and their families.  How a program could be developed here and then reproduced in other diocese, in time.  How we won’t have to worry about “selling” books anymore to reach souls, but how people could soon just get them for free and pass them around and reach souls that would never have heard the message of purity proclaimed in quite that way!  It was invigorating to let our hearts soar in vision.  Our hearts were filled with a sense of “and then we could do this and that!” … but only if it be God’s will for us at this time!

Focused on the Family

Grounding our hearts back to earth, there is that ever-present reality of our need for daily bread and providing for our family.  My car accident, on the heels of praying that the Lord not let ministry sever our children’s hearts from Him, makes me realize that I am not invincible.  Am I serving my family best right now in my life?  We need to balance our family time wisely, while providing for our children’s needs and while serving the Lord as we are best able!  Our hearts are filled with a desire to serve, but of course, our first service is to our family.  There were no other people on my heart while I was in the midst of that accident than my husband and our children … I just wanted to be able to come home to and be a wife and a mommy again.  “Author and speaker” never even entered my radar, as I was waiting for God to let me know if I was going to live or die in that moment!  As an author and a speaker I have been truly blessed, and have encountered the most amazing people – who have blessed both me and my family – but my death would not shake their worlds as it would my family’s world. Home is where no one can ever take your place … and where you will leave the biggest hole when you are gone!

So, please pray for our family as we transition over the next few weeks!  If we are meant to build this ministry now with all the vision and fervor we possess, then may the supporters of this mission come forward and sustain the financial needs of building this ministry so that my husband can dedicate fulltime work to this goal.  If not, then pray that the Lord will open the door for other work for my husband to provide for our family needs as we build this ministry slowly.

We are sustained daily, by our readers prayers … and I thank you all for all your prayers – past and present – that reach out beyond time and spared my life yesterday, and all those others involved in the accident. I believe in the power of prayer!  I am here today to write to you, because of your prayerful support in our lives!  Thank you!

Jesus, I Trust in You!

As I emptied our possessions out of our little blue Jetta before it was to be towed away, I found some praise and worship CDs – may His praise be ever on our lips – and a few prayer cards.  As I picked up each card I prayed in thanksgiving.  St. Brother Andre Bisset – our Canadian saint just canonized last October was there.  Mary, Queen of the Universe, was there!  Jesus in His Divine Mercy was there.  (Pretty good company to keep when you are facing death, I’d say!)  As I reverently took the picture of Jesus out of the wrecked vehicle and placed Him in my purse with Mary and St. Brother Andre, I gazed on the image of the Divine Mercy and said, “Yes, Jesus, I do trust in You!  You provided for us this little car when we needed it a few years ago at a very affordable price.  And You provided for me to be able to go home to my family today … having protected everyone else in this accident from injury!  Yes, I do trust in You!”

I trust Jesus in the road ahead.  It is unknown to us … but, just as for everyone else, it opens up to us each day anew … and that is what makes it an adventure.  There are bumps and smooth rides, turns and forks, even bridges that take us into mysterious unknowns, and of course the long stretches of monotonous highway in everyone’s road of life!  The road is ever changing, but what does not change is God’s loving protection and care for us as we make this journey, on a road that we pray will lead us to heaven. He is right by our side, and all we need do is turn to Him and take His hand in trust!  I am here today, praise God, with new insight and fervor for souls and ambition to live – because He pressed my “Reset” button in a way that I couldn’t help but notice!  So as I venture ahead on the “rest of my life’s journey,” I just want to say, “Yes, Jesus, I trust in You!”

Thank you, again, to all of you, our readers, for your prayers.  We never know when our prayers will end up saving a life – and more importantly a soul – so let’s keep on praying for each other! And hopefully we’ll meet some day … if not in this life, then certainly in the next!

Oh yes, and as my mother reminded me to say, “Thank you, Fr. Paul (whose funeral I was on my way to attend when this all happened), for interceding for me!  Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon him.  And may his soul, and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace!  Amen.”

Blessings,
Carmen, recently “Reset”

As we enter into Holy Week and meditating on the Passion of our Lord, I’d like to share with you a few reflections on sacrifice.

The Eternal Value of Suffering

How often do we consider the true − eternal − value of suffering in our lives.  We all suffer to some degree or another and to varying degrees over the course of our lives.  We all experience discomforts, pain, illnesses, sorrows, difficulties … trials of all sorts daily.  But are we aware of the veritable fount of grace waiting for us in each of these trials?

Jesus Christ, true God and true man, showed us in His own suffering and death the redemptive value of suffering.  He laid down His life through tremendous suffering on behalf of His beloved, His Bride, the Church.  And through His death and resurrection He reveals to each of us that suffering is the path that leads to glory.

Our Catholic faith teaches us that all suffering can be offered up in union with Christ’s suffering − with redemptive value − for the salvation of souls.  We, the Body of Christ, can share in that which Christ accomplished for us and for our salvation in His own passion.  Just stop and think of the significance of this truth of our faith!  St. Paul − one who suffered greatly for the sake of Christ and for the love of souls − teaches us this:

Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake,
and in my flesh I do my share on behalf of His body,
which is the church, in filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions.
(Colossians 1:24)

What a privilege it is to be a member of the Body of Christ: sons and daughters of our living God!  What an incredible power God bestows upon us, His children!  What dignity He gives to us!  Truly, we need to pause and reflect on what an opportunity we have to share in God’s very life and love through our own personal suffering!  It is a mystery over which saints have pondered and marveled … and so too should we.

St. Padre Pio said this:

The angels envy us one thing only: they cannot suffer for God!

St. Therese of Lisieux said this of suffering:

It is only by suffering that souls can be led to Jesus.
Is it surprising then that we are so richly supplied with it!

Do we value suffering for all that the Lord is offering to us in it?  Do we know what a gift we have in suffering?  Do we see how through our suffering, God is inviting us to be led to Him … that He actually desires for us to come to Him?  God − the creator of heaven and earth − desires for US to come close to Him and share in His very own life and love!  And for this, the angels who now share in God’s glory, envy us … that we can share in Christ’s suffering!  WOW!

The Lost Art of Suffering

If we look around us, do we see a world that is excited over the value of suffering?  Christianity has been around for over 2000 years, so where is the evidence of this tremendous gift, this fount of grace in our culture?  Sadly, suffering has become a “lost art” … something that has lost its value in the world and so few people even know of its merits.  Even among Catholics this is true!

How has this come about?  How can something as powerful as suffering become so overlooked?  It has been said that the greatest deception of Satan in our modern world is to have convinced us that He does not exist.  And that the second greatest deception on his part is that there is no such thing as sin!  Well, I believe the third greatest deception on the part of Satan is to have convinced our world that there is no value in suffering.  In doing so, the Deceiver, Satan, the Father of Lies, has successfully turned away many souls not just from suffering and the abundant graces that are available to us through suffering, but from God, the giver of those graces!

A Culture Deceived

Our culture does not embrace suffering … in fact, it teaches us to avoid it − flee from it − at all cost!  How many people have bought into the lie that suffering is bad and that there is no merit at all to suffering?  We have a culture that is in love with pleasure, leisure, comfort and luxury. These are things that our culture promotes as the ultimate good in life!  We lavishly invest ourselves and our resources in the pursuit of these things.  Who has time for suffering, we’re too busy being pampered!?!

I’m not saying that these things are necessarily bad … but consider the contrast of how far Christ went to embrace suffering for the salvation of our souls as to how far we go now in the twenty-first century to avoid suffering and embrace pleasure, leisure, comfort and luxury!  It should give us pause!

I’m also not saying that if you have a headache you shouldn’t ever take something for it … that’s up to your discretion.  Sometimes we do need to take a remedy for pain or get relief from pain through some intervention.  That’s not bad!  What I’m refering to is how we “wrestle” with our suffering.  Do we accept it and offer it up … at least until the pain killer kicks in … or do we complain to the point that everyone else around us ends up with a headache as well?  Do we see suffering as an opportunity to offer up sacrifice to our God, or do we get angry with God for allowing suffering in our lives?

When it comes to pampering ourselves … do we invest a disordered amount of our energy, our money, our time?  What do we pursue whole-heartedly with the talents and resources the Lord has given us?  What are our goals and dreams for this life?  Do our priorities reflect those of Christ … those of a follower of Christ?

Jesus, Himself, said:

If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself,
and take up his cross daily and follow Me. (Luke 9:23)

Our Heavenly Father gives to us many good things to enjoy in this life: countless pleasures, the leisure of the Sabbath (to rest from our labors with our God), the comfort of family and friends, shelter and food, the luxury of the bounty of this earth!  Worldly goods are gifts from a loving Father.  But good can become the enemy of the best when it keeps us from the best. And when pleasure, leisure, comfort and luxury become the goals of our lives, the driving force of our energy, the desires of our hearts, then they have displaced God − WHO IS THE BEST − and at that point they become bad for us.  They keep us from drawing close to Christ!  They keep us from becoming Christ-like!  They turn our hearts away from the ultimate desire of our hearts − union with God − and we then no longer NEED God, because we have replaced Him in our hearts with all these worldly pursuits!

So Many Graces Lost

Consider the victory that we hand over to Satan in our culture in that so many have become convinced that we need not suffer, that we should avoid it in our lives, that there is no merit to suffering.  Consider all the graces that are lost because so few people know to embrace suffering and to offer it up to our God, in union with His Son Jesus’ passion!  Every day suffering comes to us in some form or other − big and little sufferings and trials − and we have the opportunity to make each of these sufferings a gift to our Lord!

How many souls can be saved, sinners converted, souls released from Purgatory, people healed, families restored, lives renewed in hope by our suffering?  Suffering is part of the human condition and it comes to each and everyone of us.  How we deal with suffering is what makes the difference: will we flee from it or embrace it and offer it up to our Lord?

Suffering Avoided often Leads to Sins Embraced

Another victory for Satan, in the deception of “no-more-suffering” is how he uses this to draw us into sins.  Indeed it is this lost value of suffering that lies at the heart of many sins − especially sins of the flesh!  Rather than say no to ourselves, to our sexual desires, and embrace self-discipline which involves patience, self-denial, self-sacrifice and sometimes even suffering, our culture teaches us to indulge in every pleasure and desire of the flesh!  Sadly, as a culture we have bought into this lie − hook, line and sinker − and have thus created a culture of death.

• Consider how even Catholics will cling to birth control to avoid suffering the inconvenience of children or the self-denial that comes from Natural Family Planning!
• Think of all the many women deceived into choosing abortion as the solution to the suffering of having a baby and raising an “unwanted child”!
• Think of a society that has embraced premarital sex in order to avoid the suffering of waiting for sexual intimacy in marriage!
• Consider the number of couples who choose co-habitation in place of marriage − or at least as a trial before marriage − in order to avoid the suffering of the “bondage” of commitment!
• Think of the number of young people who engage in romantic relationships well ahead of an appropriate time in their lives, to avoid the suffering of loneliness and the insecurity of being seen as a “loser” by their peers … and then are so often lured into sinful relationships of sexual exploration as they avoid the suffering of saying no to their desires!
• Think of the number of people addicted to pornography − that life-destroying force so widely accepted in our culture − to cling to the fleeting, distorted pleasures it provides!
• Euthenasia is the total avoidance of suffering, on the part of the person who suffers and those who would have to attend to their care!
• Consider how people will lie, cheat, and destroy others in their path to obtain financial wealth, “freedom”, status and power.  They believe these things will free them from suffering, but for the temporary pleasures, leisure, comforts and luxuries they are afforded, these people almost always end up enslaved by the very things they thought would set them “free”.

These are all examples of how sin has overgrown in our society, like weeds in a garden that choke out the life of the plants they surround.  Sin is promoted in every available channel of the media − television, movies, music, books, magazine, internet.  At the heart of all this sin is the lie of avoiding suffering and the enticement to embrace pleasure, leisure, comfort or luxury.

We Change the World One Cross at at Time

Consider now what kind of world it would be if every Catholic were to embrace suffering − not flee from it − and unite it to Christ in His passion!  Just one cross at a time is all it takes!  We don’t have to go looking for them, either, there are ample opportunities to make offerings, little and big, each and every day!  The power of all that suffering offered up by every Catholic would change the world … not just in the sin that is avoided, but in the graces obtained through the suffering united to Christ’s own suffering!

This Holy Week as we reflect on Jesus’s passion − the offering up of Himself at the Last Supper, His suffering, death and resurrection − let us pray for the grace to embrace the suffering that the Lord has permitted in our lives with joy so that we can offer it up freely for the salvation of souls!  Let us pour our hearts out in love for souls, as Christ poured His precious blood out for us!

Becoming Christ-Like by Embracing Suffering

Our Lady of Medjugorje (with whom our family was so blessed to journey this Lent) tells us:

The more we resemble Christ in our suffering,
the more we will resemble Him in His glory!

Let us reflect on what it means to suffer like Christ.  I asked this of my children the other day − Just how did Christ suffer? − and their answers were right on the mark, because the innocence of children allows them to see so clearly!  Jesus suffered with patience, with love, with joy, with purpose, with passion. Perhaps this week, we can look at the sufferings of our lives and ask the Lord to give us hearts to suffer these things with patience, with love, with joy, with purpose and with passion!

Is it true what Our Lady of Medjugorje tells us, that if we share in His sufferings we will also share in His glory?  St. Peter tells us:

But to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ,
keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory
you may rejoice with exultation.
(1 Peter 4:13)

I encourage all of us to journey this Holy Week as much as possible with our Blessed Mother.

Who better to guide us to the heart of her Son, than Mary, who shared in His suffering and who now shares in His glory?

As we enter into the mystery of the Easter Triduum, may we all be transformed by the love our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!  And through this, may we all find the strength and courage to embrace each of our sufferings in life for the transformation of our world and the salvation of souls!

In His Passion and Purity and through the love of His Blessed Mother,
Carmen

I want to share with you the life-changing gift that Arms of Love has been for many.  Please consider the impact it has had in your own lives and the lives of those with whom you’ve shared this book, as you read today’s blog.

The Power of Fiction to Impact Lives

When I wrote Arms of Love, 9 years ago, I knew that I wanted to promote purity, chastity, courtship and the teachings of our Catholic faith.  I figured this novel would appeal to girls and women in their teens and twenties.  I hoped it would impact them with a message of purity.  What happened was that this book was reaching teen boys and girls, and men and women of all ages: 20′s, 30′s, 40′s, 50′s … right up to their 90′s, including single people, married couples, divorced individuals, priest and religious.  The testimonies that have come back to us over the years have been numerous and varied from this wide range of readers.

What we have seen is that Arms of Love and its sequel, Surrender, have served to be the channel of many graces in so many lives with its:

• impacting message of hope and purity.
• gentle call to holiness.
• compelling message of God’s healing and forgiveness.
• transforming call to a personal prayer life with Jesus.
• inspiring call to set Jesus at the heart of our lives.
• powerful role models – characters who have become like friends and a community of support for many people, young and old alike.
• easy-to-read depth that has led many to a deeper understanding of our Catholic faith.
• ability to encourage many to embrace the fullness of our Catholic faith.
• unique capacity to open many to vocational discernment – the call to religious life – and to encourage priests and sisters to remain in their vocations.
• ability to strengthen the personal resolve for many to get out of unhealthy relationships.
• ability to inspire many toward holy, God-glorifying romance – having led to holy Christian marriages.
• joyful call for all to be open to life, which has led to many children having been welcomed lovingly into the world.

In short, I have been blown away, over the years, by the testimonies shared with me from readers of both Arms of Love and Surrender. The Holy Spirit has certainly been busy!!!

The Good, The True and The Beautiful

I have often reflected on how simple novels could impact so many lives.  What is it about Arms of Love and Surrender that has brought about so much spiritual fruit for so many?  What I have come to see is the power of fiction combined with the power of proclaiming the Good, the True and the Beautiful!

We live in a world that turns goodness into evil, truth into lies, and beauty is made ugly.  For examples of this, we need not look far.

• Consider how the goodness of having children has been turned into an “evil” in our present day mentality.  Children are a burden to be avoided or at the very least minimalized in our lives!  We don’t want the inconvenience of children; afterall, children cut into our freedom and stop us from enjoying all the luxuries of life so accessible to us in this culture, don’t they?
• Consider the truth of marriage and how our culture has turned it into a lie.  We presume, as a culture, to have the authority to re-define something created and ordained by God.  We call everything from common-law unions to same-sex commitments “marriage”.  What about either of these reflects the truth of life-long, fidelity in the free, total, faithful and fruitful self-giving union that marriage was intended to be by God?  Nothing … but that doesn’t matter to our culture, because truth has become lies.  This is just one example.
• Consider the beauty of human sexuality and how our culture has distorted this to be very ugly, degrading, dehumanizing and demeaning.  We need look no further than at the epidemic of addiction to pornography to see how our culture has bought into this “ugliness”.  Nothing degrades the human person more – so widely accepted now across our culture – stripping men and women of their dignity as children of God, than pornography.  It is as accessible as the commercials and programs on t.v., the magazine rack at the grocery store, or the touch of a mouse on a computer.  And this ugliness – the distortion of human dignity and beauty – destroys lives and marriages as it corrupts the heart.

Freedom Comes from Embracing the Good, the True and the Beautiful

I have given just three examples of how the Good, the True and the Beautiful are under attack in our world.  There are so many more examples around us every day that we can all easily see.  What is the reason for the attack against these things: the Good, the True and the Beautiful?  Perhaps the better question is: “WHO is behind these attacks?”  Of course, the answer is Satan.  Lucifer, the Deceiver, knows that we discover God in the Good, the True and the Beautiful!

Satan also knows that if he can successfully distort these things into Evil, Lies and Ugliness that we will become enslaved to the sin that surely follows.  We see the evidence of this all around us … we know it from our own lives to be true.  When we are caught up in sin, we live in a prison of darkness.

The answer to this is to cast light – the Light of Jesus Christ – into our lives.  It is a Light that dispels all darkness! 

As we align our hearts to Jesus Christ, as we let Him be the Light unto our paths, the Goodness, Truth and Beauty of His Light will set us free!

Our hearts were created to receive Goodness, Truth and Beauty from God in and through our bodies and in and through His creation.  Through our encounter with the Good, the True and the Beautiful we come to know our Lord God; we are better able to love Him more deeply and to serve Him more faithfully.  In this we find the freedom to be all we were created to be!  We discover God’s will for our lives and the impulse to live according to His holy will!

The Theology of the Body

All of this is at the heart of the message of John Paul II’s Theology of the Body: a theology that beautifully proclaims the dignity of the human person and the gift of human sexuality.  The Lord had indeed gifted mankind with the Theology of the Body at a time in history when the attack of Satan against the dignity of the person has become so great!

John Paul II was raised up by God as a saint in our times to lead our Church and to address the great heresies of our day and age!  Come May 1^st of this year, Divine Mercy Sunday 2011, Pope Benedict XVI – our dearly beloved Holy Father – will declare John Paul II Blessed.  This is an exciting time in history, indeed, to have been blessed with such holy and saintly popes!

The Theology of the Body Presented in Fiction

Some have described Arms of Love as the Theology of the Body presented in fiction.  Easy and accessible … it is a real-to-life example – with role models that become as dear friends to readers – of what it is to embrace and live fully the teachings of our faith.

In Arms of Love, Goodness, Truth and Beauty are seen for what they are.  This rings true in the heart of readers of all ages, men and women alike.  It rings true in the hearts of the innocent and the hearts of those broken by the trials of life.

I had one woman call me after having read Arms of Love to thank me.  She had been through a bitter divorce of ten years, but as she read Arms of Love, she told me, the Lord healed her.  She said that one by one each of the wounds were taken away by God’s grace and mercy in her life.  It was a powerful testimony to me of just how important it is for us to continue to proclaim the Good, the True and the Beautiful to everyone!  It also showed to me what a gift Arms of Love has been for many … a gift for which I can not take credit, because the Lord had a plan to use it in ways I could never have imagined!

So what will lie ahead?

Nine years after first bringing Arms of Love to print, here’s the situation:  There are fewer than 100 copies of Arms of Love left and no funds for going to reprint.

There have been 30,000 copies sold up until now.  That barely begins to touch the number of people out there who NEED this life-changing message of hope and purity.

Will this novel simply go out of print?

Perhaps … for the time being.  I hope and pray that the day will come when Arms of Love can go to print again!  God-willing, someone out there will hear the call to help in this work of evangelization!

Is there a Benefactor Out There for this Mission?

I understand now why in the past artists, musicians, and writers had patrons and benefactors so that they could continue their work.  Trust me, it’s not much different today.  And Catholic ministries have always depended on the community to support them in some form or other.

Today, in our work of evangelization, if we are to continue providing these books for souls hungry for their message, then Arms of Love needs to go reprint.  If Arms of Love is to go to reprint, we absolutely need a benefactor to step forward and put up the cost of printing!

What is needed?

To go to reprint with Arms of Love, we need about $10,000 to cover all the costs … and that is NO small amount, we know!  But if we are able to raise it, we will take the book to reprint so it can continue to impact lives and bring souls to Christ.  If not, we’ll just wait until the Lord “resurrects” it.

At this point in time we have no other recourse than to wait on the Lord’s timing and providence – which is really not a bad place to be!

Is God Calling Someone You Know to Help?

There are people out there who YOU may know who can help us continue this work.  Please take this request (through prayerful discernment) to those who you believe may have the financial resources and the heart for this ministry and/or the call from God to help us out.  (Their support may be the catalyst of their own conversion … so don’t preclude those who are not presently active in their faith.)

Almsgiving

For now, support of this work will be a gift of total almsgiving, as we cannot offer a tax receipt for a donation, and we are not in a position to take a loan and go any deeper in debt.  It will be a work of charity to bring a priceless message of purity to a world dying to hear it … and God will reward you accordingly for your generosity, your almsgiving, your sacrifice!

E-Books

So that you know, we are in the process of preparing Arms of Love and Surrender in E-Book format.  This will enable us to continue to keep these books available.  However, nothing compares to the feel of a real book in your hand or makes an easier means of evangelization than by gifting to someone such a life-changing book for them to keep!

We will keep you posted as to when the E-Book formats will be available.

It is YOUR SUPPORT that Makes This Work Possible.

We cannot do this work alone!  We are ALL instruments that the Lord uses to accomplish His work.  Some of us are able to offer gifts of time and passion for a message; others of us, the gift of financial resources.  We are ALL called to offer our prayers and sacrifices to build the Kingdom!

Thank you for all your support … in so many ways over the past nine years!
We hope and pray that you will journey with us
as we continue this work of evangelization!
We cannot to it alone … nor do we want to!
This is God’s work and we are privileged to share in it with YOU!

Mix N Match BULK Discounts

on our books to help you evangelize!

3 for $33 or 10 for $77

Remember that when you order our books, you support this work to continue, helping us to bring more life-changing books to reality.  God-willing, someday soon I will be able to begin writing the third book of the Arms of Love series … which is waiting in my heart to be written … when time and resources are in place in our life.

Are you able to help us take Arms of Love to reprint?  Every donation – big and small – makes a difference … a life-changing difference for someone that impacts eternity for many!

Also, please prayerfully discern how you might be able to help us connect with the benefactors we need to go to reprint with Arms of Love!

Feel free to email us or call us at 1-800-705-7396.

Thank you ALL for your prayers which sustain our family daily!

Blessings in Christ’s Purity,
With much gratitude for all your support, past, present and future!
Carmen

I am privileged to get to know amazing and wonderful people from all over the world through this ministry.  It is always a blessing to see how so many REAL people out there are embracing the truth of purity and living it fully in their lives.  We are not alone in our desires to make the world a better place, one heart at a time!  We are not alone in having raised the bar for our families, expecting more for our children than this culture has to offer!  There are pure witnesses everywhere.

One day I happened to read a commentary on Facebook about emotional chastity, from a woman, who is the mother of eight and from Hawaii.  I thought her insights were great and her presentation on the topic entertaining and thought-provoking.  I asked her permission to use this in my blog.  So, from Saskatoon to Hawaii, today I present to you the topic of:

Emotional Chastity
by Jacqueline Vrazel Henderson.

I was rereading one of the books in our library called Surrender by Carmen Marcoux.  One of the characters in this piece of fiction talks about “Emotional Chastity.”  This term totally grabbed me.  It describes the system that we use in our home.  (Or try to use.)

I have kids, lots of kids.  And I used to be a kid.  (Shocking, I know.)

I remember all the likes, the heartbreaks and the wasted time spent thinking about boys … when I was not mature emotionally for relationships like that.  Nor was I of an age where I could look at marriage in the near future.  So all the “liking” was set up to fail because there was no option for success.

Some of these kids of mine are teens.  The others should get there sooner or later.  Since we live “in” the world we have to look at the relationship thing.  It is everywhere … tv, movies, books … and our community.  After some prayer and research we decided (years ago) that dating is not for our family.  Courtship is.

So, what is the difference? At its simplest: Dating is intimacy before commitment. Courtship is commitment before intimacy.

Dating is getting together because the other is cool or fun or cute.  No real goal.  No real purpose.  Often alone.  Most often artificial.  Artificial?  Well, you are going to do up your hair nicer than normal, put on stuff that makes you smell nicer than normal, dress nicer than normal, put on make-up (not the guys, of course).  Then you get picked up and go to someplace out of the ordinary.  If it is a movie, you will sit next to each other in a dark place and not communicate.  If it is out to dinner, you will be talking and behaving in way to impress.  ”We are going to do this for now till we decide it isn’t working any more.  Maybe after a couple of dates we will kiss and … well, let’s see where it goes.”

Courting is a formal relationship where both people feel they have a calling to the vocation of marriage and they are exploring the possibility of marriage to each other  (assuming that both are of an age and situation to be eligible to be married.)  In a courtship there are set boundaries; there is accountability: the idea being to have no regrets if the courtship ends.  Time spent together is in company of others, with family, and rarely alone.  Learning about the person in their natural surroundings, learning about their family (this is important if you do decide to get married!) and talking.  Courtship has a goal and a structure for finding that goal.  Physical intimacy is very limited.  It clouds the mind and draws the heart.  And if the courtship doesn’t work out, that is someone else’s spouse you are kissing!

So, those kids of mine, that I mentioned, are still in high school.  The age thing disqualifies them from marriage and courtship.  They do have all these hormones, though, that they can’t do anything about.  The ups, downs, heres and theres.  The “likes.”   I am finding that they will be drawn to others and some of that drawing will be romantically.  And here is where the emotional chastity comes in.

We tell the youth of today to abstain, to save yourself for your spouse.  What about saving your heart for your spouse as well?  What about being romantically intimate with one person only?  The one and only.  True love. (sigh) Sounds like a fairytale … translation: unreal and unlikely.

Get real, Jackie.  The kids are going to “like” people.  You can’t stop that no matter how many rules you have.

That is true, attraction does happen.  And it will continue to happen for the rest of our lives.  That’s right!  Attraction doesn’t stop just because vows are taken, whether religious or marital.  It is always what we do with the attraction that matters.  Many people take that attraction and run with it, abandoning the vows made.  Many others note it and set it aside because it is not appropriate for their state in life.  They pray about it, especially if it continues to trouble them.  All people have to guard their hearts and keep them turned in the direction they should go.  Love is a choice.

In so many ways, life is a marathon that requires cross training.  One piece of that cross training is training and guarding the heart.  Self control.

Example: Children get mad and they want to lash out … maybe hit.  This is not ok!  Yes, they are angry, and that anger is real.  It may be valid.  But that doesn’t mean that you strike someone.  You use self control.  It is learned; it is practiced, with the help of the parent who wants success for their child.

A youth may fall into like this week.  But that doesn’t mean she needs to talk about it to everyone.  It doesn’t mean he needs to act on it.  Infatuation is fleeting and acting on it leads to hurt, broken friendships and struggles in the community.  Drama.  We know this to be true.  Look around; you can see it everywhere.

How does emotional chastity work when you have admitted that these kids are going to fall in and out of like?

To start with, it is a team effort including the youth, the parents and God.  The youth feels herself being drawn to one young man.  She should immediately begin praying, taking it to God.  Praying for herself and for the young man and asking God to help her turn her heart to friendship.  She does not talk to her friends, or the young man, about it.  Doing that means it is going to get around.  It also means there will be a reaction.  Even if that reaction is pleasing for the moment, it won’t last.  It is not time.  If she needs to talk then she can talk to her parents who are going to support her, pray for her, give her ideas and help to hold her accountable as she waits for the crush to pass, ultimately protecting her heart and the heart of the young man.  (This goes both ways, of course.)  Don’t worry, if it is truly meant to be, it will still be there when the time is right.  Trust God to take care of it!

Begin each new friendship with an evaluation and be ready to focus on a friendship and only a friendship.  This is important because a crush can sneak up on a friendship.  And if fostered, the crush can damage the friendship.

(Don’t wait to use sunscreen till after you get a sunburn!)

Pay attention to how you respond to your friends.  Could your attentions be misconstrued or misleading?  Do not tug on the hearts of others.  Don’t flirt.  Flirting is selfish and is simply about drawing attention back to the self.

Talk with your parents!  They have been there and they want the best for you!  Your parents don’t want to see you, or your friends, hurt and heartbroken.  They want your joy and for you to enjoy strong godly relationships.  Don’t discredit what they say because you think they don’t know or understand.  They do, and they know the pain that comes from those mini-engagements and mini-divorces.

Don’t talk with friends about romantic relationships.  Even if you have decided to not go there, by hearing about the relationships that others have, it will create a desire in you to have what they have.

(I am not even going to go into the struggles with being physically chaste if you have a relationship, as a teen, that lasts into a couple of months, hormones being so powerful…that would be another paper.)

Maybe you think I am trying to steal your fun.  I’m not.  I am trying to steal your sadness, your heartbreak. I want you to be joyful and have vibrant friendships free from entanglements and hurt.  So here I am sharing this with young people and parents alike.  I want the fairytale for you!

Choose the best.  Guard your heart and save it for your spouse.  Choose to be emotionally chaste.

Thank you, Jackie, for those great thoughts on Emotional Chastity … from Hawaii to our hearts around the world − they speak volumes.

Emotional Chastity and Guarding Your Heart

It is a topic not widely discussed … yet so important.  I have often said that guarding your heart won’t protect you from NEVER getting hurt – but it should protect you from regrets when those hurts do come. Life isn’t black or white.  Our kids may not perfectly be able to protect themselves from the ups and downs of likes and crushes.  But if we can guide them through their teenage years and help them to train their hearts with self-control, we will be giving them a gift that will serve them throughout life.

Don’t be afraid to set the standard high for yourself (if you are a young person) or for your family (if you are a parent.) I think often about something I once heard when it comes to these counter-cultural high standards for living out purity:

A bird can take flight, not only because of the action of its wings,
but because of the resistance that it experiences in the atmosphere!

As we teach our children to be strong in their faith, live pure lives and strive for high ideals, we can expect that they will experience a lot of resistance from the culture (including their friends and relatives.)  But that very resistance – met against every effort they make – is what will allow them to take flight and soar above the pitfalls of this culture of death, and the snares of this age of impurity.  As we live pure lives, against all odds, we will be free to fly like eagles.

Purity makes all the difference in the world!
So be pure in mind, heart and body …
and be strengthened for life by the gift of being
emotional chaste!

A SPECIAL BOOK TO ME

Jackie’s commentary was inspired by reading my second novel, Surrender. This was a very special book to me as I wrote it, because it reflected my own personal surrender in my life at that time … which is ongoing.  But it also covers many important aspects and realities of Catholic life and discernment that our children just don’t have presented to them anywhere else in the realm of fiction or entertainment.

• Vocational discernment
• Emotional chastity
• Purity, courtship, marriage
• Theology of the Body
• An understanding many teachings of our Catholic faith

… these are the gifts you are giving to another when you give them the gift of Surrender.

You need not wait for a special occasion to give this gift to someone.  Surprise some people in your life with a really great read … one they won’t want to put down!

Join us in this mission of evangelization!
We want these books to get into every home that we can possibly reach!

We have DEEPLY DISCOUNTED our books to help you evangelize!

Arms of Love, Surrender,
The Fullness of Purpose (inspiring and life-changing)
and The Parish Picnic (available English and Spanish−
an inspirational illustrated children’s book that teaches self-sacrifice!))
all $6.95 each.

Whatever quantity you buy, they will be $6.95 − while quantities last!

We depend on book sales and donations to continue our work!

Thank you to all who continue to support us
in this mission of promoting Purity to a world dying to hear it!

Dear Readers,

I hope and pray your Lenten Journey is bearing much fruit in your spiritual lives.  Lent is a beautiful time of Purification.  Though it can be painful to be in the dessert, it is only by stripping ourselves of all the distractions of worldly desires that we can truly focus our hearts wholly and purely on God!

Our Family’s Lenten Journey

Our family takes on many little initiatives to keep us focused in Lent, and over the years Lent has become a time to look forward to in our family life.  One of our commitments this year is one that we’ve done a few times over the years as a family.  It is always a new experience: the kids get more out of it each time, as they get older, and new ones begin to pay attention.  We are watching a series called Our Lady’s Last Call with Sr. Emmanuel, who presents the messages of Our Lady of Medjugorje. Each time our family goes through these old VHS tapes it is truly a call to holiness for our family.  The presentation of Mary’s heart lovingly calling out to each of her children to come to her, to come to her Son, Jesus, is so compelling!

We DO live in extraordinary times.

From the turmoil in the world (as in the Middle East), natural disasters (as the recent tsunami in Japan), to the many reported apparitions of Our Lady around the globe (as in Medjugorje)  … something is definitely happening.  If nothing else, God is getting our attention!

Each of these things should stir our hearts to ask some serious questions.  They make us realize that life on this Earth is an uncertain and passing thing … and then what?  What comes next?  Anyone of us could be called to give an account of our lives to God today.  Are we ready?  Underlying all these questions is the one basic question we all must ask: Why on Earth are we here?

What is the purpose of our existence?

When we know the purpose of our lives, we are then better able to cope with the inevitable ups and downs that life presents.  We are able to stay on track, when we know WHERE we are going, even when the world is trying to derail us.  So WHAT is the purpose of our lives?

Our Catholic faith teaches us that the purpose of our lives is this: To know, love and serve the Lord in this life, so that we can be happy with Him in the next. Our goal is Heaven.  Our goal is union with our God.

It is so simple … and yet not so simple!  The problem is that our hearts are constantly being distracted.  Pulled by the things of this world, we so often do NOT live our lives as though our goal is Heaven and union with our God.  We need to regain the PURITY of our focus.  And how do we do this?

Lent is a great time to reflect on the PURITY of our hearts.

Are we living this life for Heaven or are we living this life for the goals of this life?  It is okay to have earthly goals, because we do need to survive here.  But often our hearts have become so distracted (by our careers, financial goals, relationships, achievements) that these things take the place in our hearts of Heaven − they become the driving purpose of our lives and they displace the TRUE purpose of why we are here.

Jesus tells us, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21)  Our hearts will be given over to whatever we most treasure!  Do we treasure most the crowns of this life: the awards, the prizes, the great careers, the big bank accounts, the big houses, the leisure activities, the toys and games, the pleasures of experiences?  The things of this world are NOT evil … all things were created by God to be good within their purpose.  But good becomes the enemy of the best when it keeps us from the best … and the best is God! So we are reminded by our Lord, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”  (Matthew 6:33)  God will take care of all our needs.  We will want for NOTHING if we possess the Lord in our hearts!

A Call to Conversion of Heart

As the messages of Our Lady of Medjugorje come into our home and our family through our Lenten Journey, we are finding ourselves so drawn to Our Lord, so called to holiness, and so attracted to the JOY and PEACE that comes from living life wholly (“holy”), completely and purely for Our Lord!

It is the JOY and PEACE that impress me most, as I look at the example of people who are really striving to live their lives for God.  The mark of Purity in our lives is JOY − a joy that permeates our being and radiates God’s love and beauty from within.  The mark of Holiness is indeed PEACE − a Peace that surpasses all understanding!

It is this JOY and PEACE that my heart desires … and that can only come from uniting my heart with Our Lord’s.  Mary, Our Mother, calls us to this kind of PURITY of heart, this CONVERSION of heart that she speaks of so much in her messages.   As I reflect upon my life and examine my heart, I have to ask myself is that JOY in my life?  Is that PEACE evident?  Sadly, too often, it is not.  So this Lent has become a time for me, personally, to commit myself to JOY and PEACE.

Putting Our Hearts to the Test

Lent is a great time of testing, too, because with our life of ministry we have never been harder hit in lack of sales of books.  Our money is again almost out.  Though we got through February and March due to the generosity of so many who offered help to us and purchased books on sale, the money is again nearing the end and the sales have all but disappeared.

Through this turmoil can we still have JOY?  Can there still be PEACE?  The answer is YES!  Because God’s JOY and PEACE are NOT dependent on the circumstances in which we live − they are a GRACE that comes to us from a Father who loves us … generously poured out into our hearts by a Mother who cares deeply about each one of us!

That JOY and PEACE are ours for the taking!  All we need to do is to turn to Our Lord and His Mother and the grace will be there for us − pouring out from the love of their Sacred and Immaculate Hearts!

Is it challenging?  You bet your boots it is!

For as soon as we try to embrace the JOY and PEACE of Our Lord, Satan surely will be there to try to tempt us to doubt and to become discouraged!  But through this testing, we are becoming PURIFIED in our LOVE for the Lord.  So we can rejoice … even when we are tempted, even when we fail to live fully the call … rejoice because we have been given the DESIRE to live the call!  We know that Mary, Our Mother, will come and pick us up out of the ashes − each time we fail − brush us off and present us with love to her Son.  As soon as we call her, she will come to our aid!

We can rejoice in our victories … because they come to us as a grace from above!  It is not by our own merit − but through the merits of Our Lord, Jesus Christ, Who lives within us.

How blessed are we to be sons and daughters of so great a King and Queen − the King and Queen of Heaven!  Just think about it!

Our Resolution to Evangelize

Our Lenten Journey has indeed been inspiring.  As my husband and I have had to really challenge ourselves to know God’s will for our ministry and for providing for our family, we have had to make some big decisions.  We are still in the process of trying to achieve charitable status for our ministry here in Canada … and hopefully eventually for our American readers.  But perhaps we won’t get it … we don’t know what lies ahead.

A resolution that we have come to, though − with or without charitable status − is that we need to commit ourselves to spreading the Gospel, promoting the message of Purity that the Lord has placed on our hearts. It is a message that challenges Catholics to live fully the life of their faith and thereby becoming Pure Witnesses in the world: lights in the darkness of our times.  There are souls at stake.

The Books MUST Get Out!

Over the course of our S.O.S. appeal, many people responded with little messages, emails and even hand-written letters.  And what we saw is that indeed the work we’ve done from our humble little home on the prairies of Saskatchewan has been multiplied by Our Lord in the conversion of hearts of so many readers!  God has been using these books − Arms of Love and Surrender − to bring hearts to Him. These books MUST continue getting out so they can reach souls for Christ!

So, how can we best get Arms of Love and Surrender to the world?  Well, putting them on sale certainly helped.  Drastically reducing the price helped people to buy them and pass them around to others.

So, here we are again … dropping the price of our books:

Arms of Love, Surrender,
The Fullness of Purpose (inspiring and life-changing)
and The Parish Picnic (available English and Spanish−
an inspirational illustrated children’s book that teaches self-sacrifice!))
all $6.95 each.

Whatever quantity you buy, they will be $6.95 − while quantities last!

We NEED to get these books to the world … and we need to trust the Lord to provide for ALL our needs in the process! Our Lady of Medjugorje said, “Give me your worries, your problems, and pray for my intentions!”  So we are abandoning all our concerns for our ministry and our family to Our Lady … we are focusing on her intentions instead!

Evangelization made easy for you!

Please purchase books − as many as you can afford − and pass them around!  Let us reach as many people as we can with the message of HOPE and PURITY that comes from these books!  Let us evangelize with the beautiful teachings of our Catholic Faith to as many souls as we can reach.

These are indeed strange times that we live in … times of turmoil, disaster, change and uncertainty!  NOW, more than ever, people need to know the loving, saving message of Jesus Christ and His Church.  They need to receive it in a way that they can hear it!  Fiction Evangelizes … we have seen this powerfully!  It works!

Please help us carry out this mission to the world!  And please pray for us to faithfully serve the Lord in our lives and in this ministry!

We humbly abandon ourselves to the love and care of Our Mother, Mary, who will lead us to know and do the will of her Son!

Blessings to you in Our Lady’s Purity
on this the Feast of St. Joseph, her most chaste spouse!
Carmen

St. Joseph, protect, provide and pray for our families!
Amen.

Today, March 7th, is a special feast day for those who love Purity, because the two saints whom we celebrate were such beautiful models of total purity in their martyrdom and I want to present these beautiful saints to you, my readers.

Much of the lives of early martyrs was passed down through legends − making it challenging to know what truly happened − but with Sts. Perpetua and Felicity, we have from St. Perpetua’s own hand, her teacher, Saturus, and others who knew them, a written account.  So popular was this account in the early centuries that “The Martyrdom of Perpetua and Felicity” was read during liturgies.

A Brief Retelling of the Martyrdom of Perpetua and Felicity

At the age of 22, in the year 203, Vivia Perpetua made the decision to become a Christian, a decision that she knew could mean her death during Septimus’ persecution. Her surviving brother (another brother had died of disease when he was seven) followed her leadership and became a catechumen as well.  Perpetua had a nursing baby at the time and it is believed she was a widow, as no mention of her husband is made.  Her father tried desperately to pursuade his daughter to not be a Christian, to which she responded by pointing to a water jug, “See that pot lying there?  Can you call it by any other name than what it is?” When her father answered, “Of course not.” Perpetua responded, “Neither can I call myself by any other name than what I am − a Christian.”

Enraged, her father attacked her, which led to her imprisonent, along with four other catechumens, including two slaves, one being Felicity, who was eight months pregnant at the time.

The time of separation from her baby was torture for Perpetua, and when she was finally allowed to have her baby brought to prison with her she declared, “My prison has now become my palace!”  (Let us remember that, dear mothers out there who often feel “imprisoned” by all the mundane, unappreciated, undervalued work of being a mom at home and raising a family … this is our palace … and it will only be so if we choose to view it as such, in spite of the never-ending Mississippi River of dirty laundry, the dishes, the diapers, the non-stop revolving kitchen door … for it is here that we serve Our Heavenly King and His children!)

As the next few weeks unfolded, Perpetua’s father desperately tried to ”tempt” her to renounce Christ for the sake of her motherhood and being able to raise her baby.  This is a very good thing − to be a mother and to be able to raise our children.  But Perpetua knew that to renounce Christ would leave her soul empty and then as a mother she would have nothing to offer her child other than wordly comfort and protection.  Her child’s soul and her own would be at risk of loss of eternal salvation!  What merit it a man to gain the world and lose his soul?  This is the question of ultimate purity of heart, is it not?

A Great Model of Purity:
Refusing Good to Hold Out for God’s Best

Our hearts are created for eternity with our God!  The pure in heart are promised “they shall see God!”  What is beautiful in Perpetua’s story is how she was tempted for something good, but she refused it for the BEST!  The good becomes the enemy of the best when it keeps us from the best! In the Christian life we are not always called to choose between good and evil.  Sometimes we are called to give up something good, so that we can receive God’s best!

As an example, when we view the “good” of physical intimacy − the marital embrace − the gift of human sexuality, designed by God to  reveal to us the nature of His love, we can be tempted by that goodness.  How often do you hear people say of Christian’s, “Oh, you’re just hung up about sex.  Sex isn’t bad!”

They are right: sex is not a bad thing … it is a good thing … it is a very good thing … in fact, it is holy and sacred, so much so that we should guard its sacredness and goodness for what it is intended − the expression of love between a man and a woman IN marriage.  When we take that good and try to grab it for itself − the pleasure of sex outside of marriage − then what is good is lost and turns to bad, as it keeps us from enjoying the best of what God intends for us.  When this happens, we always suffer consequences.

Given the circumstances of her life − in a time of persecution − Perpetua knew she could not prefer the love of motherhood (which is a very good and holy thing) to the love of eternal life for herself and her baby!  Had she chosen to renounce Christ, she would have turned her motherhood from something good to something that now stood in the way of God’s best!

The Path of Purity is Filled with Choices Daily.

Most of the choices we will make daily are much less complex than Perpetua’s.  But the example we have in Perpetua is that even faced with such a painfully hard decision, Christ has to be the pursuit of all our goals, the reason behind all our choices, the ultimate desire of our heart.

Even the little choices we make, like …

• to share our toys (teaching our children that when we share with someone else, we are doing it for love of Jesus),
• offering to do the dishes with joy (setting by example the joy of serving Jesus by serving others),
• doing our homework instead of going on Facebook (the self-discipline of the duty of the moment is obedience to Jesus)
• changing our baby’s diaper when we’d rather it be our spouse’s “turn” (joyfully embracing the duty of the moment is a way of loving Jesus),
• paying our taxes without scorn (rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and unto God what is God’s!)

… even in these little choices, we have the opportunity to make them for the love of God and to do His Holy Will at all times − which then forms our hearts in Purity!

FIT for the Kingdom

Being PURE in heart is setting Christ first in all things … so that all we do is For, In and Through Jesus … this is what makes us FIT for the Kingdom of God.

As Perpetua faced her death, along with Felicity and the others, she carried herself proudly, declaring she would not go to her God as if she were grieving!  She went to her God triumphantly glorious, along with her comrades, bearing testimony to Him in her choices in life and in death, that she prefered God − the BEST − above all earthly goods!

Perpetua and Felicity were able to see the BIG picture of our lives − against the backdrop of eternity − to put everything in perspective.  Even in their names, Vivia Perpetua − which means “Perpetually Alive” − and Felicity − which means “Great Happiness” − we see an example in these beautiful saints to give testimony to Eternal Life with Joy!  What a legacy to leave behind!  What a model for all Christians!

The account of Sts. Perpetua and Felicity (who incidently also had to sacrifice her own motherhood − as her baby was born days before her martyrdom and given up for adoption by a Christian family) is a beautiful story to read.  Our family has very much enjoyed the cartoonized presentation “Catholic Heroes Of The Faith − The Story of Saint Perpetua” on (DVD) …

… suitable even for our younger children (though very intense, you may want to watch it first) … it was a source of great discussion on the call to holiness in our own lives and the importance of living our lives PURELY for God!

These models of purity have impressed my heart greatly … and I am thrilled today, on their feast − March 7th − to share these wonderful saints with you.  To enjoy a fuller story of these heroic saints, click here.

Sts. Perpetua and Felicity,
pray for us that we, like you,
may prefer Jesus Christ and His Holy Will
above anything else in this life.

Intercede for us that we would
guard our hearts in purity
so that we might, like you,
be a living testimony
to God’s goodness
in every decision we make.

Grant, dear Jesus,
that following the example of
these holy martyrs and saints,
that we will live a pure life
for the Glory of Your Name
and thus enjoy
Your Holy Presence and Glory
for all eternity!
Amen

Blessings to you, in Christ’s Purity,
Carmen

Because of ALL YOUR SUPPORT — from so many of you who reached out to us in our time of need – we are still sailing — at least for another month!  Thank you!  Each day we are grateful for your prayers and financial help to keep us afloat in ministry.  Through the generous response of people to purchase books and share them, the life-changing message of purity is reaching many more people.  Praise God!

A Real Life “Brandon” Story

I want to share with you a great testimony that came to us on the wake of our S.O.S.  Marcus’ story below is yet another example of how when someone is bold enough to share the life-changing message of purity, God can work miracles in their lives and touch others beyond!

Hello Carmen,

I have been meaning to e-mail you for a very long time, I just kept putting it off but I think now is a good time to reach out to you.

I, like so many others, was deeply impacted by your book some years back in college.  I relate very much to Brandon and while in college I went through a rough couple of relationships. I went on a retreat and met a girl, and I was attracted to her innocence and purity (which I knew I had lost). We became good friends and when I told her I had feelings for her, she gave me three tasks I had to complete before we could seriously consider a relationship.

One was ask her father for his permission to “date”, the second was to read your book, and she told me she would give me the third task after I read the book.

I loved the book, and I read it very quickly (partly to find out, and complete, the third task). The book struck a chord with me because I related to Brandon at the start of the book, I had grown sick of my behavior in relationships, and because I wanted to be like Brandon at the end of the book – it gave me hope for my guilt-ridden self.

After I finished the book she told me the third task: one night, after a humiliating experience with a guy she went before Our Lady of Guadalupe with tears and – inspired by your book – she made a promise to save her lips, from then on, until she was standing at the altar… married.

To cut the story extremely short, the promise was exactly what I needed to cure me of my tendency to lust (though it wasn’t at all easy in the beginning), and April 17th of last year we had our first kiss at the altar in front of all our family and friends.

A month later Dianne (my bride) became pregnant, and last Tuesday – February 8th – Dianne Elizabeth was born.

We are now involved in various ministries, including radio. I’m in the process of developing a four or five part audio set on courting/relationship/theology of the body advice and I’m slowly trying to write a book about our story to try and help inspire others. I’d like to help you, and maybe in the process we can help each other. I would like to contribute a small monthly donation to your ministry – but more than that I would like to obtain one or more interview(s) with you to air on our local radio show here in San Antonio, Texas (part of the Guadalupe Radio Network) to help promote your books and ministry.

“I read Arms of Love because my (girlfriend) thought that I might further understand her life if I read it, and it really changed who I am as a person…. I wasn’t nearly a pre-Joanie Brandon Vaughn, but I was not living the life that a real man should lead…. I’d like to thank Carmen for making sure a boy found out what it means to be a man.”

Drop the Pebble and Watch the Ripples of Evangelization Grow!

Bring Christ to one person and change many lives along the way!  You have a chance to help in this life-changing ministry of promoting purity!  Look at what happened in Marcus’ life, when someone was bold enough to share a simple Catholic novel!  Someone had first shared Arms of Love with his now-wife Dianne, and she was brave enough to risk sharing it with him!  Now they are evangelizing to many as a couple.  From one heart touched to one marriage blessed … the course of history has been changed for many!

YOU are the connection between these powerful books and those souls who are waiting to be awakened to the goodness, truth and beauty of Pure Love!

Our Commitment to Stay the Course

Thank you for helping us continue on our mission.  We will keep sailing as long as we possibly can — that’s our commitment to you and to our Lord!

Thank you for the many one-time donations we’ve received.  What a blessing!

Please consider helping us with monthly-support!

So far we’ve raised just under $600 per month in monthly support.  We have a ways to go … but we trust if the Lord wants this work to continue He will inspire those who are able to share the gift of financial support with us!

Every amount counts … every amount helps!  No donation is too small to make a difference in this work of evangelization.

Call us at 1-800-705-7396
to get set up for monthly-support!

A small price to pay to help bring a soul to Christ!

Please forward this sale on to others:

JUST THREE DAYS LEFT

Books are still on sale until the end of this month at $9.95 each!
(Reg. price $16.95)

You are the wind in our sails!

Your words of encouragement, your generous support, your prayers and your efforts to share this work … all these things have made a difference!  Together we are changing history, one heart, one life, one marriage at a time! We cannot do it without you!

Thank you so much to everyone who rallied to our support over the weekend!  Your gifts, sacrifices, prayers and words of encouragement have made a difference!  It is a great anniversary gift to us — 24 years on Valentine’s Day — to know that people out there are so supportive of the work we do!

God’s Gift of Hope in Our Present Crisis

I want to share with you something very special that came to us this weekend.  It was the correspondence from a special young lady, 17 years old, who ordered books and made a donation!  Her name is Hope and she came bearing HOPE to us in this time of crisis in our ministry.  Her testimony is very touching and showed me, yet again, how God is using our ministry in ways that I would never expect:

Dear Carmen,

Please know that prayers and thoughts and all things good are headed your family’s way… I wish we could have known sooner to help! Your family is incredible and inspiring, and your books equally so. They change lives…. I remember my mother buying Arms of Love when I was in the sixth grade. She thought I was too young to understand all of the concepts, but I remember begging her to read the book. Once she agreed, we had some great discussions that I will treasure, especially since her passing.

All of us, your readers, are responsible and have a part to play in this work of the Lord that you are continuing. I pray that those “coming out to the vineyard” to help you now aren’t too late. Please keep me posted.

God bless you!
Hope

I was so touched by Hope’s email, so I contacted her … I remembered us having corresponded back and forth years ago!  It struck me deeply that somehow the Lord had used my books to communicate to her something in her relationship with her mom, now that her mom was gone.  This was not the first time a young girl had shared with me how my books had ”filled a spot” in her life in the absence of her mother … a reassurance of her mother’s desires for her … a reminder of conversations past that would be forever in her heart!  What an honor!

I contacted Hope and this was her reply:

Dear Carmen,

I am touched that you remember e-mails from me. I think that at the time I was thirteen and in the eighth grade, if I remember correctly. I am now seventeen years old and a senior in high school. My mother and baby brother Peter passed away in June 2009. Mom had a heart condition that we had no idea about (neither did the doctors). At the time she was 26 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby Peter… and it is a blessing that he was born that night, after my mother’s death, and lived long enough to be baptized by one of our diocesan priests. My mom was incredible- she actually heard about your books from a friend and then convinced our diocesan bookstore to start stocking your books. She’s the sole reason a whole bunch of moms (as well as friends of mine!) have read your books.

Please feel free to use quotes or anything else to help your ministry. Like I said, it may be a ministry started by your family, but all of your readers have a part to play- especially now.I will certainly keep praying for your ministry and your family. Let me know if I can do anything else to help! I sent out a plea on facebook to a bunch of friends…. Please keep me posted on how people are responding and how all of you are doing.

Peace!
Hope

Hope for us all!

Isn’t this an impressive thing to hear from a seventeen-year-old who has faced her own serious trials in life?  Her words, her sacrificial giving, her commitment to purity and to supporting a ministry that impacted her own life personally — it all speaks volumes!  As I wrote to her:

[Hope] you are a sign of “hope” to me in our present struggles!  Satan has been whispering every possible message of discouragement in my ear, in order to derail us in our mission, ever since we sent out this plea for financial help to continue our ministry work!  In the midst of his “seductive” voice and his lies came the sweet, loving, and supportive voice of Hope! You are truly a gift to me in my life right now in this present crisis!

Hope is a sign of HOPE, not just for me — but for everyone of us — of what God is doing in this generation of young Catholics to build His Kingdom!

Let us never underestimate the potential of young people to be courageous models of faith in our world!  Set your expectations high for youth in living PURE lives, and they WILL rise up.  They will soar above the lies of our world, above the emptiness of impurity and lust, above the deceptive lures of materialism, and will do great things!  Build them in Purity in their lives.  It is the path that will lead them through every trial to God … for it is the virtue that keeps their eyes focused on Him!

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God!
(Matthew 5:8)

Please remember Hope, her family, her mother and baby brother Peter in your prayers!  Please pray for all of our youth to have the courage to be such amazing Pure Witnesses of their faith in our world!

Beyond the Value of Money!

Please also remember that when you share these books you are giving a gift that is so beyond the value of money!  I cannot tell you how many times over the years people have shared life-changing, souls-saving testimonies with us … but it is the reason that we have persevered, against all odds, in this work!

Just One Day More for our Crazy 70% Discount!

We are happy to continue our
CRAZY sale of 70% OFF
Buy 10 for $50
for one day more!

THE SALE ENDS TOMORROW
Wednesday February 16th

Obviously we can’t afford to continue at those prices … they are barely meeting our costs of production!  After all, we still have a large family to feed!  However, we need to get books out to the world, so that hopefully others will get these books, pass them around, souls will be reached and lives changed!

We’re still trying to help you evangelize!

We will continue our still exceptional sale price of
$9.95 per book
until the end of this month!
Please encourage friends and family to buy!

Moving from a business model of ministry to a donation-based ministry!

Our original goal in our ministry was: Sell lots of books, earn enough money to support our family and then be able to provide ministry for free to the world!  Obviously this wasn’t God’s plan for our ministry!  God is showing us that He is not wishing for us to be philanthropists — rather, beggars and fools for the Kingdom!

I am learning much in having to “beg” for our living … but I realize that we are in good company of many saints … St. Francis of Assisi was the Joyful Beggar, just to mention one!  Lord, teach us to be joyful as we grow in humility!  Open the hearts of those you have chosen to support this work … may they come forward soon – with sacrificial love – to help prosper this work of God!

We are so very thankful for all the donations we have received!  We are now able to catch up on a few past due bills.  There are more we can’t yet meet.  We will hopefully keep the wolf away from our door for one more month!  Praise God!  There’s still time to turn Set Our Sails for the deep!

One man, who made a donation, wrote to us:

“Thank you for letting us know of your situation.
Your ministry needs to continue.”

Others also shared similar words of encouragement!

Book Three — Coming Soon?

Over the years many have asked me when I would be writing my third book.  The answer:

“The book is written in my heart — in fact, the whole series is sitting there (about five books long) — but I need to find the time to write and the funding while I am taking time off to write and the capital to allow us to go to print with projects.”

In other words, we need MONTHLY SUPPORT and Benefactors!

Monthly Support … to promote Purity?

What would your support be going toward?

The question remains:

Is the value of Purity
– challenging Catholics
to become Pure Witnesses of their Faith,
by setting Christ at the heart of their lives –
important enough for you to offer monthly support?
If it is …

… please consider adding us to your monthly tithe!

Even $10, $20, $50 a month.  It all adds up, when enough people do it!  So far we’ve raised a commitment of $400 per month, along with one-time donations.  Our needs monthly run upwards toward $10,000 (which includes a modest wage for our graphic designer, web developer … who has patiently waited for over a year for a raise!  God bless his sacrifices for the Kingdom!)

Please prayerfully consider giving monthly-support!  We appreciate that everyone is hit hard in these tough times.  What we need to ask is where and how we are to invest what money we have? Investing our time, talents, and money into building the Kingdom is essential!  These are the things eternal!

What is the value of a soul?

How many souls can be reached by these books?

• Arms of Love and Surrender, have over and over again touched hearts in an intimate way … through the power of fiction!
• A life-changing book like Fullness of Purpose can transform any Catholic at any stage in their journey!
• The Parish Picnicis a beautiful way to set children’s hearts for the Kingdom, self-sacrifice, and to foster a love for our Catholic faith!
• The effects of these books have a huge impact on eternity!

Getting the Message of Purity Out There!

How many souls can be reached?  Many!  We just have to connect with them!  Presently we have 2200 emails on our list, but only about 500 of them get opened.  Many end up in spam filters.

By forwarding our emails on to friends and families, you are helping us to reach thousands more than we could on our own!  Please help us in this way!

Limited Time Offer

Act now! Our sale ends tomorrow …
Wednesday February 16th
on the 10 for $50 deal

… but we will continue the
$9.95 price for the rest of this month
– still 41% off the regular price!

So please let family and friends know!

May God bless you for your generous support!

Together, we can bring HOPE to many lives with this message of PURITY … and in the process bring many souls to heaven!  There are souls out there who would not get this message except for the efforts and sacrifices that you make to help in this work. You may not know them now in this life — but you will in the next!

Eternity with our God is what it is all about …
the goal of our lives and
the promise of the Pure in Heart!

Blessings, with humble gratitude!

Carmen and James Marcoux

It’s time to let you know where we are at!

Weekly we receive emails, phone calls and letters from readers whose lives have been changed and blessed by the message of purity in our books, Arms of Love and Surrender. We know that the work we have been called to do has touched MANY lives – thousands of lives!  This ministry has been very fruitful!

Most people have NO IDEA how we are struggling to continue this work.  One reader once told me, “I assumed that with a book as life-changing as yours, you would be doing very well financially! It never occurred to me that you might be struggling!”  She sent us a donation at that time – God’s little assurance that He’s watching out for us.

Our Urgent Need

Over the past nine years we have personally been funding this ministry by mortgaging our home and using up every available line of credit in order to get these books to print and to try to market them so that people would have access to these amazing resources for purity!  We did this, in trust of God’s providence, knowing that souls were being brought to Christ in a most powerful way!

We are now at the end of our rope! There is no credit left and we are living day by day, by God’s providence just barely keeping the wolf from our door!

This past year God has “just saved” us several times, through random, generous gifts and donations, from near bankruptcy.  It’s been a turbulent time for our family!  God is showing to us, that we cannot continue to do this work without a basis of monthly-financial support!

Our children have fully supported this ministry … in fact, they have given up almost all extra curricular activities because we can no longer afford even the gas to get them there.  And they have done this rather joyfully – as they see that their sacrifices are making a difference in saving souls!  (Recently, friends donated gas money to us – just so we could come visit them – as they live out of town and we couldn’t afford the trip.)

One of our daughters said recently:

“Let’s really enjoy this time we have left doing ministry.  Perhaps the Lord will close the door completely, and we won’t be able to continue to do this work.  It’s been such a blessing for our family to dedicate ourselves to fulltime ministry, and someday we’ll look back and see these as some of the happiest times of our life – even through the financial struggles!  So let’s just really try to enjoy this while we can!”

That’s an amazing statement coming from a sixteen-year-old who has had to give up much so that we can do this work!

Is it God’s will for us to continue?

If we look at the MANY fruits of this ministry (the many lives changed) the answer is a resounding YES!

“Thanks Carmen for all the work and time you invest in our youth;
I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for you and your ministry!”
(from a 20 year old, university student)

The message of purity has never been more urgent than in our times!  In order for us to continue this life-changing work, we need YOUR support!  It is NOT possible for us to continue carrying the financial burden of ministry work ourselves.

This is God’s work – NOT OUR OWN!  We are just an instrument that He has been using: “a voice calling out in the wilderness” – as one reader once wrote to me – “in a world that has gone crazy with impurity!”

Working together to Build the Kingdom

Money, you can’t “take with you” – but souls, you can!
Please give according to your means,
“and your Father who sees all that is done in secret will reward you!”
(Matthew 6:6)

We have invested our lives in this work … but we have run out of money to invest.  If we had the money, we wouldn’t be turning to you.  But God is showing us that He wants this work to be more than our own – this is HIS work – and He wants you and others to share in it as well!

Mother Teresa knew that she could not do her work by herself.  She offered up the gift of her life, her love, her personal touch.  But for much of what she did, she relied on the Lord inspiring others to provide the means, the funds, and the material tools, for her and her sisters to carry out their work.  This is why she said:

“What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do.
The needs are great, and none of us, including me, ever do great things.
But we can all do small things, with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.”

Money is just a tool that God uses to build His Kingdom.  He places the call on the heart of some people to dedicate their lives and talents and time to building the Kingdom.  He places the onus on others to come forward and sacrificially support the work of evangelization through their generous giving of financial support!

Recently I received a $50 donation from a university student who wanted to let me know how much my two books had changed her life!  That’s the “widow’s mite!”

Dear friends and supporters of purity … please respond generously to this URGENT S.O.S.

We can “set our sails” for shore and stop our work and return to other jobs to support our family.  If that be God’s will, we will do it – joyfully.

Our hearts, in prayer, feel the call to “set our sails for the deep” … to continue this work of evangelization – for the love of souls!  We are passionate for proclaiming the message of purity – if we were not, we would never have come this far through so many obstacles!

Tax Receipts?

We are presently NOT able to provide tax-receipts for a donation made to Pure Witness Ministries, any more than you could get a tax-receipt from going to a movie or out for coffee.  However, what we can offer you is the assurance that every dollar donated to Pure Witness Ministries will be spent in

• continuing this ongoing mission of challenging Catholics to become pure witnesses of their faith;

• producing quality resources that will support and encourage Catholics to live fully the life of faith;

• reaching out to youth and parents who turn to us for advice and encouragement to battle out the many issues related to purity in their lives;

• putting on events locally, such as the Purity Rally and Pure Fun Dances, to provide a social support network for Catholics in our community;

• going out and speaking abroad to promote the message of purity in YOUR communities;

• creating programming that will train up leaders among our youth and reach many who do not have support for living pure lives;

• continuing to produce and provide materials to those who want to promote the life-saving message of purity in their communities.

This is our S.O.S. … help us know in which direction to “Set Our Sails!”

Please take this to prayer!  If the Lord puts the call on your heart to support this work, then please, give generously!  This ministry is His work … and it has been very fruitful!  Please help us to continue doing what we are doing to bring a message of purity to our world … a world that is dying to hear it!

Click the button above to make an immediate/urgently-needed donation on-line,
through our shopping cart at www.courtshipnow.com.

For monthly donations,
please contact us at 1-800-705-7396.

We can set up monthly withdrawals for your donations through
Pure Witness Ministries.

Monthly Donations of $10, $25, $50, $100, $200 or whatever you can give …
will make ALL the difference in the world
for a family that is struggling to put food on the table
and pay their power and heating bills each month!
Trust us – nothing you can offer will be insignificant!
(God can multiply loaves and fish!)

Praise God, just yesterday, we received our first commitment of monthly sponsorship from a family – with little ones of their own – who understand how important it is to meet the needs of this world, in order to continue to serve the Kingdom!

A RADICAL MOVE FOR EVANGELIZATION!

To help YOU evangelize … we are doing something VERY radical!

We are lowering the prices of our books from $16.95 to $9.95 each.

PLUS, you can purchase any of our books
in bulk at 10 for $50!

These books cannot touch lives, sitting in storage! We need to get them into the hands of those who most need them!  You are our connection to those people!

10 books for $50!

That’s just $5 per book to change someone’s life for eternity!
It’s all for the love of souls!

Click the button above to make an immediate/urgently-needed donation on-line,
through our shopping cart at www.courtshipnow.com.

For monthly donations,
please contact us at 1-800-705-7396.

Trusting in your generous support, we pray that the Lord will bless you ten-fold in what you give to His work through this ministry!

Please hold us in your prayers!

With sincere gratitude, in Christ’s Purity!
James and Carmen Marcoux and family

It’s with great sadness and heaviness of heart that I write this particular blog, following the sudden and untimely death of a very dear young man, my niece’s husband, Mike, at the age of 39.

Mike was a very special member of our family.  He always had a smile.  He always had something good to say.  And he always was ready to lend a helping hand.  He was a devoted husband and father — who loved our niece, Leanne, very much — and for that, we were always so grateful that God had brought Mike into our family and our lives.

Through Mike’s life and death there were lessons that I have learned … lessons I’d like to share with you.

The Story of a Soldier

Growing up, Mike had a dream of becoming a soldier and making the world a better place.  At the age of eighteen in 1990, that dream was fulfilled, when he joined the Reserves here in Canada.

“In 1993, Mike went on a U.N Peacekeeping Tour to Croatia.  He loved his time there, and developed a fierce bond with his fellow soldiers.  Mike and his regiment were awarded the “Commander In Chief Commendation” by Governor General Adrienne Clarkson for their peacekeeping efforts and actions in the “Medak Pocket”.  This was the first firefight directly involving the Canadian army since Korea.  More than 500 rounds fell on the small town of Medak in a 24 hour period.  The Canadian soldiers then experienced, first hand, the evidence and horrors of ethnic cleansing.  This would haunt Michael for the rest of his life, and eventually contribute to his demise.”
(Taken from Mike’s Eulogy, written by his wife, Leanne.)

Mike went over to Croatia prepared to give his life in the service of freedom, as do all soldiers — it is an occupational hazzard that they all understand.  Perhaps what Mike was not prepared for was the fact that the sacrifice of his life would come nearly eighteen years later.

After he returned, he continued service in the military for a few years, but eventually gave it up because he did not feel it was suited for family life.  He married Leanne and within a few years they had two beautiful children — Isabella and Kassandra — who were obviously the light of his life.

“In 2003 Mike was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the age of 31.  He had surgery to remove it, but was left with progressive, chronic pain due to the incision and scar tissue.

“In 2008, after a family vacation to Disneyworld, Mike’s suppressed memories of Croatia and war came back to haunt him.  Suffering from nightmares, anxiety, and severe depression, he sought help through Veteran’s affairs.  He began counselling and medication, and worked hard to overcome his condition.

“In 2009, Mike had the opportunity to go on a very special camping and rafting trip to Kananaskis with the Canadian Veteran’s Adventure Foundation.  This was a breakthrough for Mike, and Leanne felt like the “old Mike” she once knew and fell in love with, came back from that trip.

“Unfortunately, like any illness, there were good days and bad days.  Mike always put on a brave face for his children and extended family and friends.  But, gradually, Mike’s smile started to fade.

“Living in intense, excruciating pain, both physically and mentally, Mike could not hang on any longer.  Despite encouragement and love from family, friends, and counselors, Mike passed away on January 21^st, 2011.

“He will be deeply missed, forever loved, and never, EVER, forgotten…

“In memory of Mike, please….hug a soldier and let them know how much they mean to you and your freedom.”
(Taken from Mike’s Eulogy, written by his wife, Leanne.)

Lessons I Learned from Mike

As I said, there were lessons that I learned from Mike, in his life and in his death.

1. One was this!  We never know what burdens another is carrying … so let us be gentle with one another!
2. Mike’s death was a reminder to me of just how many soldiers there are carrying scars that no one will ever see.  We can see physical wounds and feel sorry for the soldier who carries them, but often the greatest devestation is unseen, found in the wounded mind, heart and spirit of a soldier who cannot escape the battleground that rages within from the horrors that were experienced and witnessed firsthand.  May these men and women find a way to Christ’s peace — that peace that surpasses all understanding — in this life and in the next!
3. Leanne was so right — hug a soldier and let him know just how much he means to you and your freedom!  Let us increase our resolve to pray for our men and women at arms!  And let us commit ourselves to pray urgently for peace in our world — peace that the world cannot give — the peace of Jesus Christ!
4. Mother Teresa said, “Your smile is your first act of charity to the world: the more it costs, the more precious it is!”  Mike always smiled!  When he was young, it was easy … and the world smiled with him.  As a soldier, serving in a war, it was necessary … because the world there had lost its smile.  As a husband and father, it took family life from being good to being very good … and his wife and children smiled along with him!  In the end, when his burden was so very heavy … Mike still smiled!  It was then that it cost him the most … and therefore, to God, it was then that it was most precious!  And to those of us who grieve his death, the memory of his smile is priceless!

Changed Lives

Mike’s funeral was hard, but it was also an incredible celebration of the gift of life: the gift of Mike’s life, and the gift of eternal life!  As we sang the closing song, “Be Not Afraid,” the entire church was filled with not just the voices raised in song but the presence of the Holy Spirit among God’s people.  I dare say there was not a soul present that day who had not been touched — and changed — by the story of Mike’s life and death!

I was walking through the grocery store later that same day, still in a daze after Mike’s funeral.  Suddenly tears welled up inside of me — and I had to really work to choke them back — as it occured to me, “The world is an emptier place now without Mike and his smile!”

As Christians, called to bring Christ into the world to all those we meet, let us be sure to smile … and to be gentle with others, for we do not know what burdens each other is carrying.  Life is precious, handle with care!

Mike, you will indeed be missed by so many … but we look forward to the day when your smile will greet our own, when life is transformed through death into new life — eternal life — the goal of all our journeys!

As with all our loved ones, gone before us, we entrust Mike to God’s infinite love and mercy — for God alone knows our hearts and their ways.  Eternal rest, grant unto Mike, O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon him.  And may his soul, and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.  Amen.

St. Michael the Archangel, Mike’s Patron Saint

Inside Mike’s prayer card was the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel.  I encourage you to pray this important prayer daily.  We, the Church Militant, living in this Culture of Death, are in a raging battle.  May we be strengthened in our resolve to build a Civilization of Love — something that Mike put his life on the line for, all those years ago in Croatia.

St. Michael the Archangel,
defend us in battle,
be our protection against
the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray;
and do thou,
O Prince of the Heavenly Host,
by the power of God,
thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits
who wander through the world
for the ruin of souls.
Amen.

In Christ’s Purity,

Carmen